As I sit here engulfed with rage, I am trying to figure out why I am even angry. I am angry at Landon. Angry that he made me feel shit. Angry that he tampered with my focus, offered me a future, gave me expectations. Angry that I haven’t touched my GoPro or felt the shady part of a trail in 5 months. Last night I accidentally texted him what I should have sent to another person. He never responded and is ignoring me all day, acting like an absolute child. Why would I want to get involved with this? Yet, on the contrary, I have spent days now fantasizing about wearing my new dress that I bought and spending New Year’s Eve with him. Maybe that will just be it. New Years and that’s it. A clean slate from all of it. I just need to get out of my hometown already….