On The Way Up

3 weeks now into my exercise and diet regimen and I am actually seeing results! It’s it very exciting for me and the more post-breakup weight that I lose, the more I feel like I am literally shedding him out of my life. Finally. Today, I shadowed a cosmetic dentist which I was very nervous for. The fact that 6 years ago I fainted when seeing someone draw blood still invokes a fear into me when it comes to any medical procedures. Which isn’t gonna work if I’m pre-dental. I got myself ice cream before going so that my blood sugar would be high and would not spike down and cause me to faint. I arrived early with comfy (and expensive) scrubs on. Since the plan of me wearing no contacts or glasses during the time I shadowed in the OR worked, I decided to duplicate that plan. Blurry eyed and everything, I still managed to observe through a double extraction. At one point, I felt myself getting calm. Waves of anxiety would come and go, but I rode the waves swiftly and maintained composure during the whole extraction. The blood exposure was minimum, but I still saw some and was exposed to the sounds of teeth being removed. I felt so proud of myself afterwards. This is what I need to do. I need more exposure to alleviate the anxious thoughts. I am going to keep going in practically blind, and eventually I will work my way up to wearing my glasses and getting the full Hi-Def dental surgery experience.


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