I am alone.

As I sit here with tear soaked eyes and whimpering to catch my breath, I am writing to you from rock bottom. From “the bathroom floor” as people call it. I fear this place. More than anything. And here I am, with a hole in my chest and emotions flooding over me, drowning me. This is emotional rock bottom. I have spent the past few months jumping from relationship to relationship. Using each one as a safety net so I don’t have to face the fact that I haven’t been alone in over a year. After Hale it was Brady, after Brady it was Erik, now it is whichever Tinder boy can throw me the quickest compliment. I realize that I have started placing value in what boys think about me again. And this is eating me alive. I was thrown onto rock bottom, head-first. Erik and I may be ending soon considering the fact that I really have not heard from him in two days. My heart feels empty. I don’t know how to be alone. I oftentimes will go random places just so I don’t have to be isolated in my apartment. I just want to feel like myself again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s