Lately, I have been thinking about mortality and my own religious views a lot. I believe in God and stand by him. Yet, my eyes were truly opened after I read a post from Humans of New York in which a young female was explaining how she became extremely close with God when her friend grew ill. She put so much effort and went to all of the biblical related events, lead prayers, held positions at the church, and yet her friend still passed away. And she was explaining how she feels lost now, because at the time she was the closest she had ever been with God, yet lost the one thing she had been truly fighting for the whole time. I find that I can relate to this whether it’s school, relationships, family matters, or even just the internal battle with myself that I fight daily. I believe in miracles and that small blessings come into my life everyday, but it seems that maybe my telephone prayer wire got cut. I am trying to not sound as conceited as I feel this sounds, but sometimes things just don’t happen the way you want them to. And with religion it’s supposed to offer people insight, hope, and understanding of the pain, yet I feel more confused than ever.