At the end of this post, please comment your opinion of where you think Erik and I currently are with our relationship.

Thursday night I was laying on the couch in my pajamas watching a movie. I decided around 10 pm that I should take a shower and get ready for bed. By chance, I happened to look down at my phone which was on silent the whole night. It was Erik calling me. I answered and he was saying how he is surprising me and is 30 minutes away. My jaw dropped. The first thing that popped in my head was: thankfully I haven’t taken my makeup off yet! So I got dressed and drove out to the beach to meet him there. When I walked up to him I said “I cannot believe you’re here!” and I hugged him and he kissed me. We laid on the beach and cuddled while watching shooting stars. He would rub my back while laying on his chest or play with my hair. I felt like time had stopped and it was just us two in the world. Our light kissing intensified and he took his shirt off for me to lay on. Erik started going down as if we were going to hook up on the beach, but I am sadly at that time in the month where my factory is under construction. He stopped and then we walked on the beach. He held my hand on the walk for the first time. My heart fluttered when he did. While walking back we would stop and make-out for a bit and then continue walking. When I finally got back to my car it was 2 am and I had to get home. I said goodbye and he proceeded to sleep in his car for the night. I felt so bad because he had come down to see me and was sleeping in his car, but he didn’t mind and always wanted to try.

The next day, I was home alone and he came over in the morning. We cuddled in my bed for 2 hours in a sea of blankets. The sun was slightly peaking through my windows and his eyes were glowing hazel green. My heart was melting. We got in my car and I drove us out to a private beach access. Once out there, we threw the football around and only got in the water for 5 minutes before a huge wave washed me onto the shore. Also knocking out my nice hair and makeup I had for the day. I knew of a pool attached to a condo my parents used to rent so we walked over there and jumped right in. Things got steamy in the pool as he would come up to me and kiss me with my legs wrapped around him. Or he would trace my body under the water. We played some pool games and eventually got out to head downtown. Dinner was at a sushi restaurant and we talked about a bunch of stuff the whole time. One thing that he mentioned that still rings in my head was this comment: “I don’t want you to think I am a player, because I am not, but when I am single I like to make opportunities for myself.” I simply responded with an awkward “yeah..” and continued eating. Am I just another opportunity for him? So, does he make opportunities for girlfriends and then just picks the best one?

After dinner, I drove us an hour away to the major city for a night out. He fell asleep in the car and I almost did while driving. When there, we both slept in the car and never went in. He suggested we go to Ikea nearby to relax in their living rooms. We walked around, held hands, and laid on all of the furniture. Towards the end we were both really tired and the conversation was falling flat. In the car, he said “I think I might go home tonight because sleeping in the car really didn’t work out.” In my head I was thinking, oh hell no I want more time with you. So I offered the guest room in my house, knowing that it is only my mom at the house for the night. He said ok and I drove us back. My mom was apprehensive, but said ok. Erik came over and immediately took a shower. His body is art. Afterwards, I said goodnight to my mom and shimmied him into my bed for cuddle time. Once he wrapped his arms around me I felt this internal click like this was meant to be. In the complete darkness of my room, I felt my hand around to find his lips and began kissing him. Which eventually led to me slowly moving down and pleasing him for visiting me. Erik cuddled and held me the entire night. If I moved an inch, he would adjust to still be with me. Even if we laid side by side he would wrap his hand around my leg. Waking up to him was amazing. Erik explained how he had been mentally rehearsing what he was going to say to my parents if he met them while over. Sadly, he never did. When explaining what he would introduce himself as he said, “do I say that we are just friends or do I say what we really are?” All of these little comments have me questioning what we are.

The next morning we went to a park to workout, walked around the mall, and then saw a movie. We were both lovey and touchy the whole time, which I adore. Once the movie got out we went back to the mall for an early dinner. I tried to be very talkative at dinner to end on a good note. We shared an ice cream before dropping him off and then shared a bunch of kisses and a long hug when it was time to go. I felt my heart to be very full when I got back home. That night I met up with some friends and got wine drunk. Erik went out with his friends too. At 2 am, I was laying on my friend’s futon, drunk as ever, the room spinning, and yet I was looking through the pictures of him on my phone wishing he was there. I miss him both sober and drunk.

Since then we have communicated some. He isn’t the best with texting and is more of someone who calls on the phone. Tonight he sent me a Snapchat saying how he wished I was there laying with him tonight in bed. “You should be here.” I felt myself get all giddy, yet after closing the Snap, I began to question who else he had sent that to. My past relationships have scarred me so much that regardless I also question these things. I don’t think he is at all that type of guy though.

I don’t know where we stand. I don’t want to set expectations and be let down. Cydney thinks it’s too soon to be moving into another relationship, but I ended my relationship with Hale almost a month ago and I know he is off talking to other girls and living it up. I am thinking of driving up there and surprising him this weekend, but I don’t know yet.


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