Haha So Now What?

This week has been nothing at all what I expected it to be. On Thursday, I had another Tinder date with a new man. The night’s goal was to forget Erik and focus my attention on someone else so I didn’t develop such strong feelings for Erik. I met up with the guy, Luis, and he was pretty cute. On his phone a lot, even talked on the phone at the table. Towards the end of the date, I didn’t feel too strong of a connection, but did have a good time with him. Midway through I see my phone starting to light up under the table. The text name says Erik and my stomach gets fluttery. He asked me if I wanted to go run the stadium with him at 9:30 pm. Of course I immediately said yes and started thinking of when I had to leave this date to get to my other one. So bad, I know. He came over to my apartment as I changed to get ready. We went over and hopped the fence to the stadium. While working out, he took his shirt off and his abs glistened with sweat. I felt my heart drop. We ran around on the field and eventually went back to my apartment. The plan to go see the sunrise the next day, Friday, was still in place. He asked if he could just sleep over since we would have to get up early for that in a few hours and I said sure.

We then both hopped into the shower together really quick and rinsed off our sweat. Changing into pajamas and laid in bed talking for a bit. In the dim lighting of my Himalayan Rock Lamp and the soothing sounds of a soft jazz playlist, we started hooking up, again. That night we cuddled again and didn’t end up going to see sunrise just to sleep in some more. He woke me up to massages and kisses. There was a bit of a somber tone when we were both getting ready to leave in the morning because neither of us wanted to. I said goodbye to him at his car and he hugged me and kissed me twice. I didn’t know when I was going to see him again, if ever.

Little did I know that around 6 pm the same day he would call me up for dinner! It was a “double date”, in a sense, with his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend. Dinner was great and then we all got ice cream afterwards. He kissed me goodbye at my car and we both knew that it was going to be a long 3 weeks until I got back .

Since then, we have been Snapchatting and occasionally texting. I’m trying not to be too clingy, but then again after spending long dates and cuddle-filled nights with him, how can I not be? I need to remember not to lose myself in him, though. Or direct my affection that was once for Hale just to another body. I need to direct that affection to myself, while also enjoying the company of others. We will just have to see what happens down the road. I really like him, though.

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