As I sit here in the early morning at the beginning of my spring break, several thoughts are speeding through my mind.
The journey to get me where I am now has not been an easy one. It seems as though when everything gets going in ways that it should, all of my existence crumbles to pieces. I easily go from wholesome to broken. I find that this can also be due to a lack of appreciation for all of the amazing things that I have and everything I have overcome. Every road block, every sleepless night, every tear has brought me to where I am. Yet, also every laugh, every feeling of endless joy, every smile has brought me where I am as well.
Do I regret things I have done in the past? No. These mistakes and memories have shaped me into who I am. Lying to so many people has taught me the value in true relationships and of trust. I now try not to lie and always be trustful. Playing so many boys at a time when I was heartbroken taught me how fragile people can be and how finding an outlet to place my internal blame on isn’t the answer. Finding means to cover up the pain doesn’t make it go away. Just numbs it for a bit. All of these mistakes have taught me how to be a better person.
During all of the madness that is preparing me for dental school, sometimes it is hard to slow down. I get so focused on moving forward to the next item on my to-do list that I don’t stop and look around. Everything just blurs past me as I am consistently getting ready for the next leap. But now I am going to stop and truly appreciate all of the blessings in my life. I am going to try to forgive, or at least begin the process of it all.
I am grateful for my family and how they continue to support me. I am grateful for my few friends who care for my well-being. I am grateful for the opportunities in my life that are shaping my future. I am grateful for Hale. Regardless of everything that has happened, I am grateful that he has changed. I am grateful to be loved. I am grateful to be healthy. I am grateful to be alive.