Rated R (or Rated O)

Some may think that I am absolutely crazy for doing what I have been doing for the past few weeks.

Even though Hale and I are still trying to regrow our relationship, I am still sleeping with him. In fact, the amount of times, longevity, and quality has increased. This may be due to the fact that now I feel as if though we are on a closer level since all of the lies and tears have flown out. Or maybe it’s just a continuous version of make-up sex. Regardless, this weekend has been no exception.

Since it was homecoming weekend we had a 3-day weekend. On Thursday, he and I went to a party at one of his Filipino friend’s apartment. The entire party was wasted, beyond drunk. Nearing the point where you think something is internally wrong that they have to drink this much. I was unfortunately DD and Hale was drinking. Throughout the party I was miserable; dealing with drunks, consistently getting weird glances from people. Hale didn’t get drunk, but everyone else was. As we were leaving he said goodbye to one drunk girl who then proceeded to kiss him on the neck. I felt flushed with anger and just walked out to the car. On the drive home we didn’t talk much. He knew something was wrong and repeatedly insisted that I tell him as we were walking back from the car. After building up intense emotions all night long, I spilled like a carton of milk. For 2 hours we talked and I cried pretty hard, letting him know everything that was on my mind. No more secrets anymore.

Friday we went hammocking on a nature trail and got a true relaxation. Midway through he started reflecting. Not sure if it was the 70’s classic rock playing on Pandora or the previous night, but he started talking about how my life would be better if he wasn’t in it. We kept reflecting. I started crying. He cried a bit. We held each other and rocked under the trees. Afterwards, we went to the homecoming concert and it was an enjoyable evening.

On Saturday was the game. It was an okay game. I don’t really go crazy over football, but the evening was the climactic point of the weekend. That night, I was laying in his bed and we just started kissing. Which eventually led to sex. But it was so different. Like we felt as if we were one. United not by raging urges, but an unbreakable bond. It was just us two in the world at that time. During the act, he said the most remarkable words. He talked about our future. Hale stated that he is looking forward to making me his wife. He wants nothing more than to have a long-lasting future with me and how badly he wants to call himself my husband. I was shocked. Sometimes we talk about children in the future as small talk, but never like this. I could see the sincerity in his eyes. And then the full climax happened: I orgasmed. I have never orgasmed in my life. Not in the 7 months that we have been together have I orgasmed. But that night I did and it was absolutely the most amazing sex I have ever had. It was crazy or wild, but simple and yet it gave me the most in return. The simplest sex and kindest words made my entire body quiver and feel like electricity was pumping through my veins. I slept over at his place 2 out of the 3 nights this weekend.

Today we volunteered in the morning and then lounged around the rest of the day. We went at it again, but it wasn’t the same as Saturday night. Today was the falling action of the weekend. He felt a bit disappointed that it wasn’t the equivalent, but you can only do so much in a compact car.

I am trying hard to work on our relationship. We both are. His cousins are coming in town in a few weeks and he wants me to meet him. Thus, welcoming me more and more with his family. Who knows what will happen from here.

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