Slut Shaming

This term honestly makes zero sense to me. Why am I ostracized for following biological urges? In nature it is completely normal, yet when you throw a dress and conscious mind on that organism it is immediately viewed as a “slut” or “whore”. They are then observed as property. Another number for the male’s scoreboard.

I was unfortunately exposed to this today. As Hale was leaving the room, every guy on the dorm began praising him and exclaiming it to the world. We have been together for over 6 months now so this isn’t anything new. I noticed they high-fived him and not me. Why not? I had just as much a part in this as him! As his friends announced it across the hall, I began to feel shallow. As if my personal business didn’t matter or account for anything, but as long as Hale was “getting some” it was evident that the best thing to do right now is scream it to everyone. I began to feel ashamed. Which made zero sense at all. Why am I ashamed of my own body, life, and rights?! Why do these people culturally have power over me? My heart fell numb and I instantly felt as if I was just another number. Just another one that he won’t remember my name years from now.

I told Hale how I was feeling while trying to hold tears back. He held me and explained how they are nothing and all that matters is us two. He also said that he feels sorry that those guys would never have a genuine relationship due to how they treat women. I still feel the emotional scars from fading into that numb phase earlier.

Tonight I am going home for a weekend visit. I haven’t told my parents about my sprained tendon and am trying hard not to. We’ll see how long I can put up with the pain. I am not going to see Hale until Sunday. It will be very difficult considering we see each other every single day while here in college. I wish we left on a better note, though.

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