Freedom to Love or Freedom to Lust

Sometimes I find that I get this overwhelming feeling that something is wrong. Seeing him in his element and at the top of his game is killing me. Girls come up to him from all over and, due to his charismatic self, initially draws them in even closer by not trying. Since he is the only one in his group in a relationship, it’s sometimes hard when he goes out on “bro nights” since they’re all looking to pick up chicks. Since that is the overall mindset for the night he then begins to enter it as well. Maybe it’s just my anxiety or insecurity or the fact that this newfound freedom makes you wanna do crazy things.

I admit I do sometimes check out other guys, but never with the intention to cross that boundary. Last night there was a guy named Ryan who was extremely attractive, and even though my lust side is drawn towards Ryan, my love side still brings me back around to Hale. Sometimes I let my own insecurities about him cheating or tempting other females overwhelm me, but he draws me back in by doing the tiniest things. The way he looks at me, how he would give up a night out to care for me when I’m injured, even when he’s drunk he still comes over to me and massaged my neck or kisses my forehead, the way he makes the darkness go away, how he said he would fight someone at a party if they ever talked to me.

He truly is the only guy that I have turned my ring inwards for.


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