The “L” Word

Yesterday I went over his house and spent 12 hours there. I arrived around 11 am with a movie in hand and heart on my sleeve. We watched Netflix for 45 minutes and then proceeded to play the movie that I brought. Within a minute of the movie he was already all over me. We continued at it for 5 hours. Even in the thickest moment, I still saw kindness in his eyes. Midway through, he said “I love you”. I was very unprepared for it, but I just said “I love you, too” even though I wasn’t feeling it at the time. I had yet to even look into the concept of falling in love. Afterwards, we got fixed up and went to go watch the game. He cooked dinner for the both of us. Whenever I would walk in the kitchen to grab something or check out what he’s doing, he would kiss me or look at me like I was his greatest accomplishment. Everything felt natural. After we ate I watched the game in his arms. In that moment, I truly felt like I was beginning to love this man.

Can love develop within a month? Or are we just so deep in the infatuation, honey-moon phase to understand love? I ask myself these two questions continuously. Sometimes I don’t see a future with Hale, especially when I think of all of the temptation that he will be surrounded with at our next college. Yet, I also feel dehydrated when I’m not with him. At times I try to remind myself not to fall so hard, but then he does these minuscule things such as kissing my scars and taking me out on a date about something that I talked about months ago before we were even together. I feel like he doesn’t just look at me, but he looks into me. I am trying to not get so deep that he emulates my only oxygen supply, but the breathing is getting harder.


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