Red Flag or Green Light

I decided to take the day off from the world and just stay in so that I can wrap my brain around this past weekend.

Hale came home after a week-long vacation on Saturday. He had a party during the day and was going to hang out with his friends afterward, but instead we met up after the party. Since a huge storm was passing by, we met at his stepmom’s spa and there was a table out front where I sat and ate my dinner that I had picked up. We sat there for about an hour and then drove out to the beach. The sun was beginning to set and so we walked the whole beach and then went back and sat down. I laid on the beach in his arms for 3 hours. He then brought out one of the many gifts that he bought me on his trip. The gift consisted of 3 symbolic bracelets: one for focus, another for harmony, and the final for loyalty. It was a very sweet gesture, but a red flag came up when he was describing the loyalty bracelet because he stated: “I haven’t been very good with loyalty in past relationships, but I feel like this is completely different with you and I am making a promise to stay loyal.”

I really didn’t think much about it when he gave it to me because I was in such a zen state, but the next morning it hit me like a ton of bricks. Did he just say that he cheated in past relationships? I have been thinking about this a lot. Should I continue to pursue something with a past cheater? Our relationship is growing fast and I don’t know if I should view this as a red flag and go with my brain or view this promise as a green light and to go with my heart.

The next day we and Hailey went paddle boarding. We all obviously felt like there would be a sense of third-wheeling, but it only came in waves. There were times when he would be distant, for example, he walked the beach by himself, and then there would be other times when he would hold onto me in the water. Mid-way through lunch I began to feel distant as well as I would sit there and watch him check out every single female that walked past. I didn’t feel jealousy or any form of insecurity, but all I could think about is that loyalty bracelet.

My brain is telling me to get out soon before he hurts me, but my heart is saying give him a chance because no one else is.


3 thoughts on “Red Flag or Green Light

  1. This can be easily cleared up, with a discussion. If he is the person you want him to be, won’t he be open to talking about his past; giving you clarity in the process? Would you want someone discussing the future of your relationship in their head? If not, why are you? What are you scare of? If he is the one he will embrace the discussion. If he isn’t he will blame you for being overly sensitive or reading too much into it. Either way, you can get your answer from him, not within you. Remember cheating happens physically as well as in the mind….give him the same choice you would want. Or maybe you just want what you want regardless….

    • Thank you for this! You mentioned some really great points. I definitely think that I am going to ask him about it as opposed to stressing about it to myself.

      • You’re are welcome, i just want you to have a fair shot and that’s a start. Partnership means just that, no more I, or, me, only us, and we. Communicate your thoughts….

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