I am sitting here typing extremely slow. My fingers are cramping, my heart is racing, I feel like time has been slowed. If I stand up, I might pass out.
Tonight, my mother came home from visiting my grandfather. When she came home there was a lot of banging and stuff being thrown towards my father. I just disregarded it because this is usually normal. It wasn’t until a term slipped out that brought chills down my spine. My father is typically known to party and celebrate his hard work and success, but I never thought it would go this far. At first I thought I just heard wrong, but it wasn’t until threats of arrests came out that I corrected my hearing. I seriously feel like I am going to throw up. How am I going to go on a week long vacation stuck in a log cabin with these two when all I can do is continue replaying what I heard? Playing pretend has become autopilot for me, but how can I sit here and talk about colleges and my future with someone who betrayed my trust? A father is supposed to be a role model and someone who I can use as a pedestal of light while I figure my way through the maze of life. I stood in front of half of my class and spoke about how this man has inspired me to work hard, and yet I find out that he is using drugs?!
I feel like I am dreaming. Happy Holidays.