Yowza! What a week this was. On Wednesday I had a huge lab due for chemistry and so from 5:00 pm – 11:00 pm I worked hard. And then on Thursday night it was the same with trigonometry homework. This semester is going to be so hard and time consuming. On my rides to school, I sometimes shed a tear when things get really hectic and my chest feels shallow. I have even started thinking about revoking my privileges just because I have SO MUCH going on. In my mind, I don’t even feel like a senior. I don’t feel like going to homecoming, prom again, or even continue on with cheer. I didn’t join the competition team for cheer and was rudely insulted by my coach because of it stating that I am “too weak” to join. You see the toxicity that I live with? In my mind, this year is meant for school. I have a lot of pots on the stove right now and I just want to focus on those instead of my social life. It sounds bad, but it’s true. I need to squeeze out as much as I can from as many different opportunities as I can before application deadlines begin to close. And don’t even get me started on those applications….
I do consistently find that after days of very high stress, I feel somber. Like someone took an ice cream scoop and scooped up my chest.