I miss my guitar. I miss my paint set. I miss my confidence. Everything was replaced with books and a rigid perspective. I want to see the beauty in the world. Yet, my brain is pounded with the latest news and equations. It seems that when you exchange your childish ways for adulthood, you are also exchanging your creative freedoms. Right now I am in a bit of a bad place. It’s been a rough few weeks with Alex back, and that voice is back in my head. That brings me down every second and tries to drag me to people who I have since removed from my life. My mind is just on overload. I feel nauseous just thinking about everything. Failures seem on such a larger scale to me. My chest feels hollow. I just need a vacation alone from everything and everyone.