This is a question I consistently ask myself. Why? I never had “daddy problems” nor only longed for a older man’s love when I need reassurance of myself. By older I mean mid-to-late twenties. Calm it down there, not 45. I might be a romantically selfish individual, but I believe I crave someone who is somewhat established in life. I don’t need the sloppy boy who doesn’t know what they want to do in life and can hardly put a fitted sheet on a bed. This is probably due to the fact that I had no chance but to grow up fast and have always had my career in mind.
Every year, around this time, the same phenomenon happens to me: I become strongly attracted to a facilitator at the Science Academy. There is a 6 year difference between him and I, but it creates an electricity flowing through my veins. Maybe it’s the fact that I had to climb over his shirtless self to find his ventricular blood vessels and took my good ol’ time doing so. Or that he massaged my neck today during the palpitation lab. I don’t even know his name, yet have dreamt about him twice. True infatuation.
This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. It is because I don’t believe in my own age. I have succeeded past so many of my classmates; mentally and physiologically. My main dating problem, yes I’m admitting to it, is that I don’t fear falling in love, but wasting my time. I feel like I deserve and need something so much better than boys my age. I am so much more attracted to people who are stable in their lives, than gambling with someone whose phone bill is still paid for by their parents. I just need fulfillment.