My legs feel like jell-o from standing all night. Tonight I volunteered with a local organization to help out with a 5k race. This is the race that I invited Cole to, but of course never showed up. Cyd and Olivia also worked the race with me and the amount of times I fake-laughed today was atrocious. Not wanting to be fake or facetious; just wanting Cyd to have a good night and spare her feelings. She goes through so much. I put our indifference’s aside and went through the long night. When the invite to go to Olivia’s house was offered, I knew I had to decline. I just couldn’t take the unoriginal lies anymore. Complaining you hate the smell of alcohol, yet guzzle it down every night? When I got home I wanted some mental relief, but only found out that the person I have dreamt about all this week is madly in love with someone else. Bradley and I would’ve been a beautiful couple of white teeth and porcelain skin. Some may say, “well why don’t you go after him?” I would hate to ruin a relationship. Plus, I’m no one’s mistress. I haven’t worked out in a LONG time and feel my self-confidence dropping as we speak. It’s going to be a long night.