This week has been filled with life tests about coming out of my shell. From talking to Haile unexpectedly, to presenting my chemistry presentation without getting immensely nervous, and having a full conversation with Prof. Kennedy in front of 30 people. And its only been 2 days! I know you reading this probably thinks this is childish, but I like my shell and don’t typically enjoy coming out.
Tomorrow is going to be a big BIG day! I have to present my history project to my class and have tryouts. Since tomorrow is test day, this presentation will most likely be in front of 45+ people. Not as bad as last semester when it was nearly 60 plus Cole. That will go smoothly, but then tryouts are after-school.
Today was the last tryout practice day and I honestly feel a bit discouraged. I feel out of place because cheerleading isn’t my whole life anymore. This discouragement may be the shining light that I need. I have matured more than I would’ve ever imagined from entering early college and love it each day. I just never have heard of a soon-to-be-senior not make it onto varsity when she has been on it for a year already. I will try and do my best and not let the nerves get the best of me. I know my capability and if it is not right for this then that it okay. The Lord works in mysterious ways, but it is always the best.
All I know right now is that tomorrow night at 7:00 pm we will know. Whether or not my name is on that acceptance paper will be a lesson or a blessing. If I don’t get on the team, I will get a part-time job, open a bank account, and start my own life. If I do make the team, I will get to cheer at football games (which I love) and finally get to wear that all white uniform. Personally, I want to make the team because of the title and the friendships. But don’t desire the petty drama and long practices that accompany it.
If I don’t make it, I will be a little sad, but not like before. I have grown and know that if my best wasn’t the best for them, then I just need to move forward. Life doesn’t stop just because you want to.
We shalt see tomorrow….