Half asleep and sick

If anyone said “half asleep thoughts are awakened truths”, was nearly correct. As my subconscious breaks down from the stress of this never ending week, of course the hallow loneliness must sneak in. A combination of school stress, this dance not coming together, and having people who are dying to take my place on cheer stick their talents down my craw is plaguing my mind. I should’ve just gone back to bed, but then another thought came to mind……. I am so alone. I have been for nearly 3 years now. By myself. Helping myself. Loving myself. My self-love has flown through the roof, but I just wish there was someone who I can fall back on when needed. Especially it times of this high stress. I’ve trained myself to only open up a small bit because it is only my, myself, and two dogs. I tried to reach out to an old flame, but he is rejecting me like I  rejected him once before. I know the best relationships occur when they are spontaneous, yet how much more will I have to wait? Impatience and sadness is overthrowing my mind and I want someone to call mine. Maybe this sickness is heart sick.

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